True Love Weds

Why I Wrote True Love Weds

2010-10-18T19:41:00.000+08:00

An Invitation to Brave the Journey

(Or Why I Wrote True Love Weds)

By Grace Gaston-Dousel

My ear was red and aching. Nearly two hours of being on the phone in the middle of the night is not exactly my idea of a night cap. But this time, I had to patiently listen to a friend bare her heart. In between sniffs she shared how she felt so low, so bad, so destitute. She has finally realized she needed to shape up. But she didn’t know where to begin or where to draw the strength to make the first step.

It was so easy for me to judge her. She had committed the same mistake twice. In both cases, she was left with a baby to bring forth and raise all by herself. Her parents couldn’t care less because they see her as the black sheep with no redemption. Her siblings scorn her for bringing shame upon shame and trouble upon trouble into their otherwise perfect family. Previously earning well in a call center, she is now without a job due to absences. With a three year old daughter and a three month old baby boy, she found herself knocking at her parents’ house. While she was accommodated, it was not without painful words.

“I know I have to set things right for me and my children. I just had an argument with my boyfriend about my daughter. He obviously does not love her because she is my child from a previous relationship. I can’t blame him. But I also can’t live without him. I love him. I’d do anything to get him to come back.” I couldn’t bring myself to sympathize with her a hundred percent. I wanted to say, “Your stupidity is what got you into this mess. You always hook up with the wrong men.” Instead the words that came out were verses from Isaiah 33:6: He will be the stability in your times; a rich store of wisdom, knowledge and peace; the fear of the Lord is the key to this treasure. After a few more insights, I ended our long phone call with a prayer.

People ask me why I wrote True Love Weds. I must admit that at the beginning I simply wanted to share with my readers how True Love Waits (the movement and the curriculum that I co-wrote) helped me wait, find and wed my true love. Five years after True Love Weds was first launched, I found myself giving a different answer.

I wrote True Love Weds (with its new chapter and discussion guide) because I long for more young adults to experience the wonderful life that results from a love life submitted to the lordship of Christ. My heart breaks at the sight of single mothers like my friend. My arms ache for children born out of unwanted pregnancies and more so for nameless babies whose lives were snuffed by an abortionist’s needle. I am bothered by the growing number of men and women who walk around searching aimlessly for true love yet search for it in one sexual encounter after another. I am frightened at the thought that in the supposedly conservative Asian society, about four to five cases of HIV are being noted daily due to sexual promiscuity. I am shaken at the increasing tolerance of marriage-less unions and rampant divorce. I am alarmed at the thought that families are being broken every minute due to the absence of God’s presence.

True Love Weds is not just my story. It is a proof that there is still true love that weds, that marriage is not passé, that a happy family life is not utopia. It is a real take on what it means to pursue the path of purity and enjoy its prize. It is my challenge to anyone who wishes to find true love to wait and honor God in every step. It is my honest confession of how much work marriage takes and the wondrous joys it brings. It is an invitation to brave a difficult journey that leads to a magnificent destination.

New Look: True Love Weds

2010-09-25T09:22:00.003+08:00

What can you say about True Love Weds' new look?

TRUE LOVE WEDS AGAIN!

2010-09-10T18:37:00.003+08:00

See you at the launch of TRUE LOVE WEDS!

Off to a Good Start!

2010-01-27T15:25:00.002+08:00

Happy New Year, everyone!

I am expecting a great year from my great God. To start it off, I would like to announce that True Love Weds: When the Waiting is Over is going on a re-print this year! I have recently met with my editor, Joy Solina, and we have commenced the project.

There is so much you can look forward as we (re)launch True Love Weds:

--a new chapter, capturing the first 5 years of my marriage and family life

--a discussion guide for each chapter

--a new look and layout

--a year-long book tour.

To know more, please don't hesitate to leave a comment on this blog or email trueloveweds@gmail.com.

Going for a re-print

2009-08-11T16:57:00.003+08:00

Next year will mark the fifth year that True Love Weds has been in print, and the seventh year of my marriage to Mang.

My publisher is thinking of doing a reprint and a re-launch. The reprinted version will probably have an additional chapter and a discussion guide for each chapter.

Watch for it.

Ano pang hinihintay ko? Sulat na!

A Year of Silence!

2009-01-04T20:28:00.003+08:00

Wow! I didn't realize that it's been more than a year since I last wrote something on this space. The entry of the new year is a good time to start blogging afresh. Hope there are still people out there willing to check out what True Love Weds is all about.

Happy New Year everyone!

What's been happening?

2007-06-17T09:53:00.000+08:00

Hi all!

Sorry for the long silence. Much has happened. To be updated, visit our ministry blog:

tubaobrigade.blogspot.com

Make sure you leave a note if you drop in.

Thanks.

A Series of Talks

2007-01-26T20:25:00.000+08:00

Please pray for the following series of talks I will have:

All Friday evenings of February--I will be speaking on Singleness to the young adult group of All Nations Christian Fellowship in Davao City. Two years ago, Mang and I developed a four-session module on singleness entitled "Blissfully Alone". With some revisions to fit the needs of ANCF's singles, I will use this material during our meetings.

March 3--Mang and I will be speaking to high school and college students of a school in Cebu City.

Books Books and More Books!

2006-11-13T13:08:00.000+08:00

Praise God for His enabling! I finally finished the manuscript of our team's book entitled A Pebble in the Water, A Hoe in the Soil. It is a collection of stories and reflections of our team for the past six years. The manuscript is currently in the hands of a publisher in Singapore for perusal. Please pray that this publisher would agree to publish our book. We praise God that Dr. Melba Maggay of the Institute of Studies in Asian Church and Culture has agreed to write the conclusion of the book (more like an afterword). Please pray for God's wisdom upon her. In God's own time, you, too, will have the opportunity to read what God is doing down here through this book. Until then, keep praying with and for us. Thank you!!!

Another book that is due to come out is How to Write Effective Ministry Prayer Letters. I co-wrote this material with my lovely friend, Elizabeth P. Ong, who is also a prolific writer and creative photographer. We aim to be of help and service (through seminars and workshops) to missionaries and Christian workers in the area of writing prayer letters. Pray that this material would truly benefit our missionaries who have so many stories to tell...but sometimes lack the skill.

Last October, I went to Manila to attend the launch of two books of which I was one of the writers. Below are photos of the launches of Real Time: Devotions for Filipino Youth and Walking On: The Best of Women on the Journey.
Real Time: Devotions for Filipino Youth Book LaunchOctober 13, 2006, Mega Trade Hall, Mega Mall, Manila

With my co-writers Mike Carino, Ai Tolentino and John Callanta.

The writers with our editor, Joy Solina.

NU 107 and The Edge radio DJ Jordan Escusa hosted the launch.

The four of us on the "hot seat" and being interviewed about the book.

Walking On: The Best of Women on the Journey Book LaunchOctober 14, 2006, The Podium, Manila

/>Missing my boys (Mang and Lian Ed) during the launch.

/>My beautiful sister, Faith, graced the occasion.

/>With the other writers.

Dreaming

2006-10-26T23:00:00.000+08:00

The following is an email exchange between me and two of my friends. Read about a dream and tell me what you think.

FROM ME to Z:
hi z! a former classmate in UP who recently became a Christian and got hold of my book emailed me. below is an excerpt. just want to share it with you. let me know what you think.

Hey, Grace...how are you doing? This Christian women's magazine will truly be a God-sent to modern Filipinas. Please pray about this and let God give you the wisdom and discernment to come up with the best concept for this publication. I realize that with your background in broadcom, you will explore new heights as a writer and Christian leader! To God be the glory! Sige na, I'd love to share some things that may help you get started. Like what it could be like or whatever. I have yet to see a quality Christian mag that can parallel or surpass the popularity of Cosmo! Honestly, I used to read this mag when I was unsaved yet, but now, whenever I read it, it leaves a bad taste in my mouth. Never has the woman been taken away from God's promise in her life that this worldly mag that glorifies sex as a lifestyle for the modern Filipina. Hello?! It grieves me that Filipinas down here crave it like crazy. Nakaka-demean. The decadent lifestyle promoted by this mag has destroyed God's promise for Filipinas that it makes me ill. Talaga po. I will bring a sample mag that you may want to browse and get some ideas from. Or...is there already an existing popular Christian women's mag here? This is an ambitious endeavor, but with God, nothing is impossible! I am just sharing with you what I'd love to see in the Philippines. Buti nga at may mga Pinay pa na katulad mo. I've been so wrapped up with my little family church up in Washington that going back to the "world" literally struck me like a bolt of lightning. Mahirap pero go pa rin in Jesus' name!

Smiling but not pressured
grace

FROM Z to ME:
There was Aglow in the early 90s which followed the format of parlor magazines (Woman's Today, Woman's Home Companion, etc.) but it folded soon afterwards for unknown reasons. I would guess it's money. Magazines are hard work and to make it "Christian" would make it such a losing proposition since the market will be miniscule. Given that not all Christian women will buy, the market might be infinitisimal or however that is spelled. Can't even pronounce it.My suggestion would be is not to make it outright Christian so as not to "alienate" non-believers but to make it wholesome and practical. In short, the exact opposite of Cosmo. It can then be read by any woman who appreciates decency as well as stands everything against what Cosmo and all other magazines stand for.

Z

FROM ME to Z cc'ed to F (my classmate):
That's right. To make it too Christian would really limit the audience. I totally agree to a non-alienating piece of work that can cut across the board and make an impact regardless of who's reading it. Anyway, it's good to dream. Perhaps someday the dream will come true.

FROM MY U.P. CLASSMATE:
I appreciate your reply to my suggestion. This is a confirmation that our country is not yet ready for an ambitious mag like this. Let's just consider it as a dream and a germ of an idea that takes a century or half in the making (not a thousand years, hope not! hehehe). We can always do God's way, PRAY for the Pinays who are currently shackled to strongholds of Satan's deceit. I am going back to Negros and help a church down there. They are holding a youth camp in December. It's a pretty big church. Maybe I can use your materials for training down there, I'm not sure yet because I need to talk with the youth pastor down there. But I'm definitely bringing your book! It's a radical and moving book about God-written romances. Every young girl who hopes to meet her true Prince someday should read this. Well, being single, I already met my Prince. Jesus. Hahaha. Seriously, I am considering the choice of a mate, too. But I leave it all for God to decide. His choice of guy for me is not yeat clear in this matter.

Thanks,
F

So, what do you think?

True Love Weds: A Review

2006-10-25T13:38:00.000+08:00

Someone I know (Kuya Kevin) from the True Love Waits movement gave this review of my book True Love Weds in his blog. I'm posting it below (with some of my comments) but you can also check out his blog http://kuyakevin.blogspot.com (sorry, I still haven't figured out how to create links :-( ...yikes, I really need to learn to be more techy...):

It’s my pleasure to write another book review for you guys—another book about love. I just finished reading True Love Weds by Grace Gaston-Dousel. Perhaps this review is coming a little bit late—I’ve already recommended this book to hundreds of students (it is on my recommended reading list when I present True Love Waits). I’ve also linked Grace’s website to this blog (True Love Weds).

I’ve never taken the time to read it myself because I’ve heard Grace speak in person and already knew of her heart for the Lord (in other words, no need to check up on her material to make sure it is solid). So do I still recommend it now that I've read it? Absolutely!! Now that I've read it I will be able to give an even stronger and more descriptive recommendation to my students.

Let me give you a few of my observations about the book:

First, this book is a great love story. Some of you may have a hard time believing that I would make this comment. For me, a perfect movie starts with something exploding then ends with a bloody swordfight. Remember the scene in The Notebook where the girl pulls her car over, reads the long lost love letters and weeps? I laughed during that scene. “I cannot believe someone talked me into watching this,” I said to myself. Here's my point: if I can enjoy this love story, I’m sure you will enjoy it immensely (especially if you are woman). Grace has a wonderful way of telling the story of God’s goodness in her life and her love life.

Second, Grace is quite candid about her own struggles and experiences. One of the most appealing qualities of this book is its intensely personal nature. Graces shares about everything from heartbreaks, journal excerpts, painful childhood experiences, her own struggles to please God, and even reflections on her wedding night. She was willing to be quite vulnerable and transparent with us, and I think you will appreciate this. Some of the book’s content might not be appropriate for young children, but everything is written prudently with good discretion.

Third, this book is culturally relevant to the Filipino/Filipina. When the Filipino version of True Love Waits first came out, the statistics were mostly from a ’94 study. Grace uses more recent data from a 2002 study on Filipino youth culture (I used this same source to update my TLW presentation). I appreciated this extra effort to make the book more relevant. She also writes about her extraordinary efforts to earn her parents’ approval on her decision to marry Mang (her husband). This also reflects a uniquely Filipina perspective on family which will resonate with other Filipinos.

Fourth (last but definitely not least) this book gives us a great testimony and defense of sexual purity. Grace’s testimony is a story of purity. Through this book, she tells us of her decision to wait until she was married to experience sexual intimacy. She also gives a great Biblical defense of sexual purity. One of her friends, for example, protested against the idea that virginity was one of the most valuable things you could give your husband. “Though there are other things a woman can give her husband,” Grace wrote, “her virginity still tops the list.” Amen to that! I can personally attest that a man who has waited does not want to hear that his potential wife has not waited. “Cheated” would not even begin to describe the feeling. (Grace’s comment: Let’s not be double standard in our view of virginity. As a woman, I can say that it gives women a great sense of comfort and honor to know that their potential husbands waited for the wedding night and that they are their husbands’ first sex partner.)

Grace also shares stories of heartbreak, hope and redemption from those who have made poor choices but turned to God for a second chance.Other thoughts:A reader would be very wise to apply Grace's advice and follow her example of patience and purity. Just keep in mind that some parts of her story are unique to her. I would refer you to one of Grace’s own quotes when you read this book: “Each romance is unique. There is no formula.” This is very important to understand when reading her story. In other words, don’t read her story and think that your love story has to be exactly the same as hers. I’ll give you two examples.

First, Grace reached a point in her life where she “decided to simply trust God by not lifting a finger, and letting him prepare and bring His choice to me.” I believe this is something God led Grace to do at that point in her life. She was 20 and recovering from a broken heart. For those of us past our mid-20’s, however, it is easy to get into a “rut” in which you meet fewer and fewer quality, eligible, Christian singles. I think the vast majority of singles would agree with me on this. I believe in waiting for God’s choice, but I also think sometimes we singles need to evaluate our social life (or lack thereof). If you are not meeting any singles, get out there and mingle! (Sorry for the cheesy rhyme) If “waiting” means sitting on the couch and expecting Mr/Ms right to jump out of the TV, please think again. I'm not advocating going out and playing the typical "dating game." I'm just saying its good to put yourself in a position to meet new people.

A second example is Grace’s efforts to win her family’s approval before proceeding with her wedding plans. I commend her for doing this, but keep in mind that she came from a godly, wise, and reasonable family. There were also some clear reasons for her family's reservations. Eventually her family accepted Mang because of their wise, loving attitude. Let me give you guys an observation as an outsider—many Filipino families reject their childrens' choice of a spouse without a good reason (much less a Biblical reason). Somehow it seems all too common here. I've heard of families objecting because the potential spouse is not rich or has the "wrong" astrological sign. I have seen Filipinos break their finances’ hearts by postponing/canceling a wedding due to mommy’s disapproval. If you are of age, fiancially stable, believe you have found God’s choice, have patiently done all you can to win your family’s approval; and they still have not given you a reasonable objection, its time to stand your ground! Genesis tells us that a man will “leave is Father and Mother” (Genesis 2:24). Unless you want mommy to be the only woman in your life, be careful about how much control you give her.I do not see this as a "problem" with the book. The book, after all, is "Grace Gaston-Dousel's love story." It is a story that we can all learn from!

Thanks for a great book, Grace!! I'm proud to be your brother in Christ!!

Kuya Kevin

Walking On Real Time

2006-10-10T00:09:00.000+08:00

I am constantly amazed by God’s faithfulness in fulfilling His purpose in my life, especially in the area of arts and writing. We ended the Taytayan Youth Art Exhibit yesterday and took down the panels and lights this morning. However, the “sales” continue as long as the online gallery at http://tubaobrigade.blogspot.com is still up. So, for those of you who have yet to choose which painting to hang on your walls, visit the blog and start ordering! Already, Dadai Joaquin and I are talking about possible exhibits next year.

This month, two books of which I am one of the writers will be launched under Church Strengthening Ministry. These were projects that were in the works when we left for Davao last year. A friend gave me the unexpected gift of a plane ticket giving me the opportunity to fly to Manila so I can partake of these two wonderful events. God is good!

REAL TIME is a youth devotional which will be launched at the Mega Trade Hall at the Mega Mall on October 13 at 7 pm. WALKING ON: THE BEST OF WOMEN ON THE JOURNEY will be launched the following evening (October 14, 5:30 pm) at the Podium Activity Center.

W.O.W. from a Filipina

2006-09-11T00:52:00.000+08:00

Dear Ma'am Grace,

I just finished reading your book "TRUE LOVE WEDS" (after 2 nights of reading). And it was all WOW (Words of Wisdom) for me. Though I have read few books also about LOVE, yours is what appealed to me the most kasi ang author po ay kababayan ko at isang Filipina. Kahit papano nakakarelate ako sa mga settings at scene at takbo ng story knowing na ang bida ay isang Filipina na katulad ko.

From those authors (Joshua Harris, Eric and Leslie Ludy, Elisabeth Elliot) and YOU...it only says one thing: only GOD-CENTERED relationships could make a couple fulfilled and happy.

FOR NOW, I am also on the stage of "WAITING" while praying for the man that GOD would gave to me in HIS perfect time. I am hoping that in this "PRESENT WORLD" we live in, I would still find someone who will lovingly accept, understand and share the same convictions I have when it comes to relationship.

Thank you for sharing you VERY INSPIRING story.

I would love to share this book with a very good friend back home.

I am very much in awe of your love story,
Elvira C. Pintac

My Marriage Isn't Perfect

2006-09-07T14:55:00.000+08:00

Once again I am faced with the fact that marriage and family life is precious. it is something God delights in. It is something we should care for, respect and protect.

My marriage isn't perfect. It's far from perfect. But it is a gift from God. When tough times hit, it's so easy for me to go back to God and complain. I complain about my current state, thinking that it was better and easier when I was single. i complain about the man God lovingly and graciously gave me as if I'm the most pitiful wife on earth. I guess all my ramblings are a result of my self-centeredness. Truth is, I want my husband to serve me. I expect him to meet my needs--every single one of them. I couldn't seem to accept it when Mang confessed that he can't always be strong for me. He can't meet all my needs. Worse was when he said that he also had needs; that he also looks to me to meet those needs though he doesn't expect me to be able to meet each one of them. I wasn't sure I wanted to hear it. I felt burdened and weighed down. I didn't want to serve. I wanted to be served, to be pampered. Afterall, I deserve it!

Lies. Of course these were all lies. My selfishness got the better of me. And so I started to become discontented. I looked at what others have and got envious. I complained more and praised less. I worried more and prayed less. I criticized my husband more and appreciated him less. No wonder happiness in each day eludes me.

(After writing this, I prayed for Mang. I asked God to forgive me for my selfishness. Then I wrote the "100 things I thank God for my husband list". It was a good exercise. I have a better perspective of things now...)

From Frustration to Thanksgiving: 100 Things I Thank God for My Husband

2006-09-06T14:51:00.000+08:00

Journal Entry for Sept 3, 2006

Tonight I poured out my frustrations about Mang to You, God. And You responded by telling me to list down 100 things I ‘m thankful for Mang. Here it goes…

God, thank you for giving me Mang who is…

1. faithful (never looked at or took interest in other women since we got engaged)
2. honest (didn’t hide his past, his place of origin, his flaws, his family’s defects, etc.)
3. fun-loving (can’t be overcome by problems because he knows how to have fun)
4. loves my parents and sister
5. loves Lian Ed
6. loves me
7. affectionate (physical touch is his love language)
8. has a heart for others
9. genuinely helps without expecting anything
10. seeks what’s best for our family
11. God-fearing
12. missions-oriented
13. proud of his tribal roots
14. takes his roles in life seriously (ie. husband, father, eldest son, brother)
15. intelligent
16. athletic
17. handy man (good carpenter, engineer and architect, though he is an amateur)
18. relational (easy to get along with)
19. supportive of my ventures, writing and art
20. musically inclined
21. modest…sometimes too modest at the expense of his own advancement
22. obedient and respectful son
23. bold and courageous
24. passionate (in every aspect of life)
25. caring and thoughtful
26. gives me flowers even if there’s no occasion
27. wants to pursue higher education
28. never forgets to look back to where he came from
29. tries his best to provide for our needs
30. appreciates and enjoys my cooking
31. good driver
32. sings well and plays the guitar well
33. unashamed and unapologetic of who he is
34. committed
35. a man of his word
36. unafraid to shed tears
37. laughs a lot
38. good physique
39. technocrat
40. dreams big
41. enjoys taking a break, watching movies, or going for a massage
42. true friend (not just to me) and hardly has enemies
43. isn’t jealous
44. doesn’t hit me; not violent
45. gentle in bed; doesn’t force me when I am not ready or not in the mood
46. very secure of himself (doesn’t feel insecure of my achievements)
47. finishes what he puts his mind to
48. gives me space; respects my personal bubble
49. gives me freedom to pursue my dreams
50. dedicated to his work
51. speaks for others
52. thinks before acting
53. careful not to “step on others’ toes”
54. a friend to my friends
55. relates well with my relatives
56. encourager
57. took care of me while I was pregnant and after I gave birth
58. gives others a second chance
59. gracious
60. knows how to choose his battles
61. calls a spade a spade
62. enjoys the moment (lives in the here and now)
63. doesn’t hold a grudge
64. gets over his anger easily
65. forgiving
66-67doesn’t act on something unless he’s sure of it, however he’s also a risk-taker
68. not selfish
69. servant-heart
70. not boastful and arrogant
71. sacrifices for others
72. goes with me to the grocery
73. occasionally babysits
74. allows me to have fun with the girls
75. gives me allowance for "kakikayan"
76. unafraid to admit when he doesn’t know something
77. unashamed to ask for help when he doesn’t know what to do
78. child-like (not childish)
79. a good writer when in the mood
80. Lian Ed’s favorite playmate
81. my number one fan
82. good hugger
83. good kisser
84. appreciative
85. expressive
86. stable
87. knows how to turn me on
88. goes to concerts with me even if he gets bored
89. good shopper (better than me)
90. holds our little “treasury” well
91. shares his thoughts and feelings with me
92. mature
93. sensible
94. practical
95. particular about hygiene
96. determined to make our marriage work
97. obeys and loves God
98. steps out in faith
99. the one I share dreams, visions and life with
100. my partner in life.

What more can I ask for? There is really nothing to complain about!

Thank you, God for my husband!!!

A Hagar in our House

2006-08-08T12:04:00.000+08:00

A space for Mang:

The most unexpected thing happened recently and it sifted our faith as well as tested how far we are willing to be dispensers of God’s grace to others. Our helper, Gema, has been with us for seven months and we have loved her as part of our family. Even then, she managed to lie about her boyfriend who impregnated and left her. Because the problem has become too enormous for Gema, she confessed everything to Grace. While the event hurt us all, perhaps it’s Grace who felt the greater impact of what happened. Here’s an excerpt of her reflection (which is posted in our web log http://tubaobrigade.blogspot.com).

I’ve not had much sleep since last night. It was confirmed that Gema, our helper, is pregnant. I was hurt because she lied to us. But more than that I ache for her life, her future, her unborn child…(While praying) I thought I heard Him (God) say, “Remember the story of Hagar?” I just wept. I remembered the story. I’ve always felt for Hagar more than for Sarah or Abraham. I felt that Hagar was a victim. She was used and was unjustly treated. Then I asked myself, “Am I a Sarah to Gema?”…I was asking myself whether I should send her away and let her suffer alone…I felt God was unfair for giving me this enormous responsibility for another person. “Can’t you give me an easier life?” I had to ask God. Was God actually telling me to minister to Gema and girls like her whose yearning for love led to a series of mistakes and irreversible consequences?

I hardly slept. I woke up with swollen eyes. I must have cried myself to sleep last night or I must have wept in my dreams. Gema admitted to me this morning that she used up all her savings because she and her boyfriend went to a hilot (a person who massages the abdomen to induce miscarriage) and tried to have an abortion. It failed. She’s still pregnant and now she is determined to keep the baby. I couldn’t help but think of how the prostitutes or the street youth ended up where they are now. I fear for Gema. At seventeen—without education, rejected by her boyfriend, afraid to go home—she has nowhere to go. What if she ends up in the street, selling herself, in order to raise her child? I wrestled within me and with God. We are here because we want to be agents of God’s transformation. Will I be that for Gema or will I be an added source of destruction for her? By the end of the day, I was asking God, “What do you want me to do? What do you want me to learn?”

I read Hagar’s story again a while ago. What struck me was the phrase “The One who sees”. I had to trust that God sees. God sees Gema. God sees the unborn baby. God sees me and my family.

I am helpless. I want to help Gema as much as I could. But I couldn’t. I don’t have the capacity right now. But the One who sees does. Certainly, He would give her a drink of living water.

I am lost. But the One who sees knows the way. Certainly, He would show what step to take and where to go.

I am apprehensive. But the One who sees is stable. If He wants to reach out to the Hagars out there with me as an instrument, then He would give me that capacity, the stamina, the compassion, the grace, and pretty much all it takes to let these girls know that there is One who sees.”

Grace and I have decided to let Gema stay with us. This could indeed be our “Hagar Ministry”. We want to help her go through this painful and difficult season. We want to journey with her as she prepares to be a mother. Peace came into our hearts as soon as we took this step of faith. We think that this is the confirmation we seek from God. He wants us to minister to Gema at this time. But you know what, we can’t do this alone. We need you! We need you to pray intensely for us that we could be God’s dispensers of grace even as we are also healing. Pray that God would give us immense faith to trust Him for our and Gema’s daily needs. Pray, too, for wisdom as to how we can help Gema inform her father (her mom died years ago) whom she hasn’t spoken with in years.

For Better or For Worse

2006-07-27T23:50:00.000+08:00

(This is an excerpt from a book I am currently working on. Watch out for it!)

When we got married, Mang and I agreed that we will do all it takes to stay committed to each other come hell or high water. Even in the mission field, this commitment gets tested every once in a while. This reminds us of the need for support from others in the team and constant reliance on God.

It’s been six months since we arrived in Durian Land. We’ve discovered that Davao City is conducive for doing almost anything, including arguing and fighting.

I’ve heard from another missionary that the first term is really stressful as it is filled with adjustments and a lot of learning. The marriage relationship does not escape the strain. Moving to a new place, adapting to the host culture, learning a new language added to the daily routine of cooking, cleaning and babysitting are enough to cause anyone to snap like a stretched rubber band.

I think it takes an ounce of courage to admit that “happily ever after” is a myth for missionaries, especially the married ones. Many think that because we are serving the Lord, we’ve always got things made. Life is smooth. Many also think that people like us who have committed to ministry are immune to life’s blows. We don’t get angry, irritated, stressed or worried. We don’t need a break or an evening walk alone to have some peace and quiet. If we succumb to any of these things, we are lesser and immature missionaries.

It also takes a bit of courage for married missionaries to admit that like any other couple, they also desire to have occasional romantic dates, candle-lit dinners, or just a stroll along the beach to watch the sunset. But many feel that these are too worldly for a missionary to even dream of.

Most of all, it takes a great amount of courage to admit that marriage woes are normal and integral to life—yes, even in missionary life. Many seem to overlook that our struggles make us more human and therefore make us more in touch with the hurting world, which we are trying to reach with Christ’s love.

Inasmuch as missionaries are called to be agents of spiritual and physical nurture, care and healing, missionaries also need to experience inner renewal and restoration. It is in the most unsuspecting times when the heart would cry out for help. But usually, these distress calls are unheard because missionaries are expected to fend for themselves. The strains or successes in a marriage can be a predictor of the effectiveness of our work and the degree of our impact on the unreached. A husband and his wife is a team. If one falls, the other would have to stagger on rather than run the race well. Worst, they may both drop out of the field because their inner wounds remained unhealed and have become a gangrene that ate up the remaining zeal in them. This is why missionary and member care is a need that should never be overlooked or neglected.

Mang and I are beginning to understand what it means to be married and be a team in the mission field. We are beginning to see the value of caring for each other and for our co-workers. We have a lot to learn.

It's Been Three

2006-04-28T23:58:00.000+08:00

April 10 marked our third year wedding anniversary.
Mang and I have been roommates & partners for three years.
We have been parents to Lian Ed for two.
We are looking forward to many more years together.

We thank God for the romantic island-getaway trip He gave us.
We sat along the beach as the full moon's reflection fell on the sea.
We woke up to the sound of soft crashing waves.
We reminisced our honeymoon in Mindoro island three years ago.
We talked about how we want to see ourselves in the coming years.

It's great to be married!

Here are a couple of reminders of our third wedding
anniversary celebration at Isla Reta Resort, Talicud Island,
Island Garden City of Samal:

Funny Shower Game

2006-04-28T23:40:00.000+08:00

I organized a shower party for a friend (K Ravello who will be married to a Swiss, Pascal Bazzell, on May 2nd). It was a surprise and we were successful in keeping all the surprises undetected until the last minute.

One of the girls, Sol, facilitated a game that was equally funny and artistic. She gave us two index cards and had us write something romantic in one and something unromantic in another. Afterwards, we wrote a poem combining the two things creatively.

Here’s the poem I wrote. Guess what my romantic thing and the not so romantic thing were:

Poem for K
Rose petals
Scented candles
Hearts in tune
Arms intertwined
Bodies unite
Unexpected fart
The toilet beckons
Romance in the air
Now sits on the throne.
Copyritght 2006 Grace Gaston-Dousel

Tears and Love

2006-03-25T11:51:00.000+08:00

The world without tears is a heartless world. The soul that sheds no tears is a soul without love. What bigger catastrophe does humanity need for self-destruction?

…Tears are signs of life; they bring life back to the world. Tears well out of the heart of love; they restore to the human community the ability to love. Tears take form in cries and struggles for justice; they revive the soul of our century for a promise and a future. And it is in the people capable of tears that a promise of human community and a future for the world lie.

That is why people must not run out of tears. We must resist turning into statues of tearlessness at all cost. We must continue to be able to shed tears no matter what happens. We must save our tears and have them in plenty. We must have tears for public prayer meetings where we can pray in tears for political prisoners. There will be many occasions for us to mourn, with tears in our eyes, for injustice done to helpless people. In many of the societies to which we belong, it is time for public mourning…

Our Jesus is a man of tears. He must have wept a lot. When he heard that Lazarus had died and been removed to a tomb, he wept (John 11:35). It is human to weep. And if we believe that Jesus is God incarnate, then it is also divine to weep. Those who saw Jesus weep for Lazarus said: “How dearly he must have loved him!” (John 11:36). Tears mean the capacity for love. Those who have no capacity for love have no tears. It is only when you love deeply, only if you love dearly, that you can weep. A stone has no capacity for love: it cannot weep…Tears are signs of humanity and divinity. Through our tears we may still keep this world human and divine.

(from Tears of Lady Meng by C.S.Song, Orbis Books, 1981, pp.40-41)

The Tears of Lady Meng

2006-03-22T22:12:00.000+08:00

I just finished reading a book entitled The Tears of Lady Meng: A Parable of people's political theology by C.S. Song published by Orbis Books in 1981. In the pages of this book, I found something very interesting about love. I'll quote some excerpts here...

The book started with this Chinese folktale:

This happened in the reign of the wicked, unjust Emperor Ch'in Shih Huang-ti. He was afraid at this time that the Huns would break into the country from the north and not leave him any peace.

In order to keep them in check, he decided to build a wall along the whole northern frontier of China. But no sooner was one piece built than another fell down, and the wall made no progress.

Then a wise (!) man said to him: "A wall like this, which is over ten thousand miles long, can be built only if you immure a human being in every mile of the wall. Each mile will then have its guardian." It was easy for the Emperor to follow this advice, for he regarded his subjects as so much grass and weeds, and the whole land began to tremble under this threat.

Plans were then made for human sacrifice in great numbers. At the last minute "an ingenious scholar" suggested to the Emperor that it would be sufficient to sacrifice a man called Wan "since Wan means ten thousand." Soldiers were dispatched at once to seize Wan who was sitting with his bride at the wedding feast. He was carried off by the heartless soldiers, leaving Lady Meng, his bride, in tears.

Eventually, heedless of the fatigues of the journey, she travelled over mountains and through rivers to find the bones of her husband. When she saw the stupendous wall she did not know how to find the bones.

There was nothing to be done, and she sat down and wept.

Her weeping so affected the wall that it collapsed and laid bare her husband's bones.

When the Emperor heard of Meng Chiang and how she was seeking her husband, he wanted to see her himself. When she was brought before him, her unearthly beauty so struck him that he decided to make her Empress. She knew she could not avoid her fate, and therefore agreed on three conditions.

First, a festival lasting forty-nine days should be held in honour of her husband; second, the Emperor, with all his officials, should be present at the burial; and third, he should build a terrace forty-nine feet high on the bank of the river, where she wanted to make a sacrifice to her husband...Ch'in Shih Huang-ti granted all her requests at once.

When everything was ready she climbed on to the terrace and began to curse the Emperor in a loud voice for all his cruelty and wickedness. Although this made the Emperor very angry, he held his peace.

But when she jumped from the terrace into the river, he flew into a rage and ordered his soldiers to cupt up her body into little pieces and grind her bones to powder.

When they did this, the little pieces changed into little silver fish, in which the soul of faithful Meng Chiang lives forever.

Kerygma

2006-02-19T02:16:00.000+08:00

A few weeks ago, a friend from Manila sent an SMS saying that my name is mentioned in the February edition of Kerygma magazine. So, the next time I went to SM Davao, I went to the bookstores and magazine stands to look for it. Thankfully, the Catholic bookstore St. Paul still has enough copies of it.

It was a surprise to read what was almost like a synthesis of my love story (which is detailed in my book, True Love Weds). I am happy that the Catholics have picked up a copy of my book, read it and thought it’s worth quoting in their inspirational magazine. Of course, there was an extensive discussion on the True Love Waits Movement as well.

This month’s issue of Kerygma is a must have. It featured real love stories of real people who struggled in their love and sex lives and emerged victorious with God’s help. I suggest that you get a copy and check it out for yourself!

Emails from Malacca

2006-01-28T23:44:00.000+08:00

My mom's friend, Joanne Lee, from Malacca brought several copies of my book to Malaysia. Here are excerpts of her emails (to my mom) on how the books were received there.

Excerpt from her first email:

January 4, 2006

I have a great time selling the book "True Love Weds". No difficulty to get people to buy the book at all. They grab for it as soon as I show them the> cover. :) A student of mine bought 5 copies to bring back to New Zealand. She is going to promote it there too. So I have sold all my 30 copies!

Joanne Lee

Excerpt from her second email:

January 5, 2006

Yes, I do need more of the books. Another university group is asking for it too. :)

I will be bringing a team of about 30-40 fresh graduates for mission trip to Philippine. We are deciding between General Santos City or Baguio. Probably Baguio :) Our dates are from 16-28 June 2006.

Would it be possible to meet up with the author of TRUE LOVE WEDS ? It would be such an encouragement to the group and perhaps they could go back to promote it even more.

Blessed New Year 2006

Joanne Lee

Like a Reunion

2006-01-07T09:59:00.000+08:00

This past year was like a virtual reunion for me and some old friends. Because of my book, True Love Weds, I've caught up with some high school and college classmates.

Rhea, who now works in Canada, asked her brother living in Marikina to buy ten copies of my book and have them shipped to Canada. She gave them away as birthday presents to her friends there. She emailed me that she felt like she's caught up with me despite the ten years we've not seen each other all because she read the book.

Dawn, our magna cum laude in college, just dropped by this blogsite a few days after Christmas. She said she was surprised to see my book in one of the shelves of National Bookstore and bought it right away. Now we're in touch again after seven years!

I wonder how many more virtual reunions I will have this year...

Happy 2006 everyone!

It's Here!

2005-12-02T23:00:00.000+08:00

Two days ago I dropped by one of the PCBS branches here. It goes by "Mindanao Christian Book Store." Anyway, I was happy to see some copies of True Love Weds on one of the shelves. So, for those of you who are in the Davao area, you can avail of a copy in any of the MCBS branches (one is in City Triangle Mall, near Marco Polo Hotel and Ateneo de Davao University; the other branch is in the downtown area). Thanks to Miss Vicky, the MCBS manager, who cheerfully accommodated me during my brief visit to their store.

You can also find copies of the book in the National Bookstore branches in SM and Gaisano malls.

Get a copy to give away this Christmas!

Aloneness is NOT Loneliness

2005-10-25T22:56:00.000+08:00

Aloneness does not necessarily mean loneliness. Being alone can in fact be a blessing. Anyone can choose to be blissful even when alone. Harold Sala says that "more than where we live, it is how we live that produces loneliness." I have a choice whether to live each day rejoicing, though alone, or to sulk. Mother Teresa says that the cure for loneliness, which she has called "the world's worst ill," is "love and involvement in the lives of other people." She believes that in reaching out to help a hurting person, "you find a cure for your personal demon of loneliness." Happiness in being alone is not so elusive if we understand that it does not come to those who eagerly seek it. It is a result of devotion to God and selfless service to others.

--from True Love Weds, pp.24-25

A Divine Appointment

2005-10-16T16:25:00.000+08:00

It always warms my heart to receive feedbacks such as this. Jessica Rivera posted this comment on this blog last Friday, October 14. I thought that it's better to post it here than for it to just stay in the pop-up window. Read on and be encouraged...

Hi!I bought your book at NATIONAL BOOKSTORE, SUCAT last october 12, 2005. Actually ang purpose ng pagpunta ko sa NBS was to buy a pen. Di ko alam kung bakit ko nabili yun. I read some of its contents at mukhang interesting, so binili ko nga then binasa ko sa bahay. ANg ganda pala and very inspiring huh. Nakakakilig pa!!! hehehe! Nagpapasalamat ako kasi niloob ng Dios na mabasa ko ang TLWeds dahil maraming aral talaga ang matututuhan ang mga readers, lalo na sa mga teenagers like me. Natulungan ako ng Dios through your book na mabuksan pa lalo ang isip ko about LOVE. God Bless you Ms. Grace Gaston- Dousel!

Jessica Rivera

(translation: Hi! I bought your book at National Bookstore, Sucat last October 12, 2005. Actually my purpose for going to NBS was to buy a pen. I don't know why I bought it. I read some of its contents and it looked interesting, so I bough it and read it at home. It's beautiful and very inspiring. I am thankful because God willed for me to read TL Weds because readers, especially teenagers like me, will really learn a lot of things. God helped me through your book; for my mind to be opened about LOVE. God bless you Ms. Grace Gaston-Dousel!)

The Best Thing About Being Single

2005-10-15T08:29:00.000+08:00

When I was single I discovered a lot of things about myself, about life, about love. Let me share the best discovery I've made:

Perhaps the best thing I discovered as a single was my purpose in life. Rick Warren says that we must turn to God's Word and not the world's wisdom to discover this purpose. I learned to do just that. I started to value myself deeply and the l ife I had been given. I also learned to appreciate what the Bible says about my life, "It's in Christ that we find o ut who we are and what we are living for. Long before we first heard of Christ and got our hopes up, he had his eye on us, had designs on us for glorious living, part of the overall purpose he is working out in everything and everyone." What excites me is that our lives are not isolated from each other. We do not live solely for ourselves. Each of our lives is a part of a bigger whole and aimed toward achieving a bigger purpose. We are all connected to each other, somehow, and if we all live out our purposes in life, then God is glorified. (from True Love Weds, p. 23)

Why are there porn sites around?

2005-10-13T21:02:00.000+08:00

Recently, three people posted comments on this blog. While everyone out there is welcome to swing by my little corner in cyber space and leave an imprint, there are those whose marks are really not worth sharing to others. The last three comments (which I have deliberately deleted) are such. They say they LOVE my blog (although they didn't exactly say why) but posted links to porn sites which very well contradict the message of this blogspot.

I must admit that my initial reaction was that of irritation. However, as I pondered upon this I realized that porn sites exist because people seek one thing--TRUE LOVE. It's not sex per se that they long for. I think that deep within they are yearning for a meaningful relationship that would give them a sense of worth and dignity. Of course, sex with just about anyone (especially those you can find through the net) could not and would never give a person worth and dignity.

I believe that the book True Love Weds is for people like these three who mistake sex for love and physical pleasures for happiness. I hope they will find themselves a copy of the book and hopefully find TRUE LOVE in the process.

Blogs & Books

2005-10-08T10:14:00.000+08:00

This article was published with permission from Media Associates International (http://www.littworld.org/), and first appeared in Trainer Network newsletter. If you're a writer, read the whole thing. I'm sure it'll be a big help to you!

Interview: Why Bother to Blog?
Besides serving as personal online journals for public consumption, blogs (web logs) are helping writers worldwide expand and deepen relationships with their audiences, and market books. Authors Grace Gaston Dousel of the Philippines (http://trueloveweds.blogspot.com/) and Mary DeMuth of France (www.relevantblog.blogspot.com) share their insights on blogging with Editor Dawn Herzog Jewell.

Q: How did you get started with your blog?

Grace: I never knew much or cared about blogs because I'm not into technology. But soon after my book launch, my officemate set up a blog for me. He and his daughter (my "blogging guru") taught me how to use it and how powerful a tool it could be, especially in reaching today's youth and young professionals--the target audience of my book.

Mary: No publisher asked me to do this. I figured it was what I could do from overseas to help the sales of my books. Mostly, I am just building an audience base. Since I live in France and can't do a lot of hands-on marketing [in the U.S.], I blog.

A good way to get started for free is http://www.blogger.com/, the server I use. Within five minutes it will be set up, and they operate in different languages. It's very user friendly. I used a blogger template for my design and then altered it completely, copying over the html and adding different colors, pictures, etc. I knew nothing about how to do this; I learned a lot by experimentation.

Q: How do you encourage people to visit your blog?

Grace: At first, since nobody knew about it, I had to visit other blogs and "tag" them or leave a message on their "tagboard" or that space for short notes. I invited them to visit my blog.

I advertise my blog especially when I speak to youth groups or talk to anyone about my book. I also instruct my publisher and editor to mention the blog when they are promoting my book, or whenever they receive queries or feedback about it.

Mary: The key is to announce your blog to your email list and link to as many blogs as you can, requesting other blogs link to you. That helps with traffic. Occasionally, I'll send out a mass email to folks, letting them know about a particular entry. I also cross reference my blog and website in my monthly RelevantProse newsletter. In addition, I have links to my blog and website on my email signature line.

Q: What kind of material do you post on your blog?

Grace: I began by posting teasers about my book. (Other authors upload the first chapter of their book as a teaser.) I posted excerpts from the foreword, the introduction, and some poetry and other catchy portions of the book. I try to post entries every week.

Later I expanded to events--speaking engagements, the book launch--personal entries; including reflections on my wedding anniversary, a letter to my husband, a poem for my son's first birthday; and some family photos. Since my book is on love, relationships, marriage and sex, these postings still fit the blog theme.

Mary: I announce my books when they are released. I show my readers any new covers before they are released. I link to reviews once in a while. I spend about three hours a week on my blog, about half an hour a day. I don't do tons of maintenance, but I write and respond to comments.

Q: What kind of response have you received?

Grace: People abroad (friends, family and anyone with Internet access) learn about the book. They get interested and start inquiring how to obtain a copy. I've received feedback that copies have reached countries including India, Indonesia, the U.S. and Canada.

Several readers have logged onto my blog and left their feedback. I have also created an email account that's solely for book readers and is advertised on my blog. There I receive all sorts of emails, from thank yous to those seeking advice.

I've made friends through both the blog and the email. Some of my readers have shared deep issues and have asked me to pray for them. They feel more comfortable with this kind of communication because it's more impersonal and distant. This has opened a whole new ministry for me. I thank God for it.

Mary: I get about 5,000 hits a month. It's hard to put a finger on whether it's working or not, but I seem to get a lot of good feedback. I definitely feel it has deepened my relationship to readers.

The Big Deal About Keeping One's Virginity

2005-10-05T09:44:00.000+08:00

What is the big deal about staying pure anyway? Why keep one's virginity? As early as high school, I decided to saty a virgin until my wedding night. Some of my friends called me morally uptight. I have been put down at times for my conviction and for encouraging others to follow suit. One time, I ate lunch with some old friends as a kind of reunion. One of them said that unlike me, she believes that virginity is not the only gift she can give to her groom on their wedding night. she said that she has so much more to give. She said that she is happy giving her boyfriend what she can give now, including her body, to show him her love. The others in the group nodded in affirmation.

I felt sad because she and our other friends missed the point. Though there are other things a woman can give her husband, her virginity still tops the list. And this is a gift that she gives not only to her husband on the wedding night but more so to the Lord. We are to "offer our bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God" (Romans 12:1b). We are told to honor marriage and keep the marraige bed pure for God will judge the sexually immoral (Hebrews 13:4). This may seem too strict and too harsh for many, but it is God's standard. God did not prescribe "how to's" in life to limit us but to enable us to live life to the full. For instance, the Bible's strong admonition against the inappropriate use of sex outside of marriage is really intended for our own protection and pleasure. Having more than one sexual partner increases the risks of acquiring sexually transmitted diseases. Unwanted pregnancies that result from premarital sex often bring two unprepared individuals into the difficult predicament of raising a child. Over the years, it has been observed that individuals who enter parenthood without spiritual, emotional, and psychological readiness end up raising troubled children who grow up to become troubled adults.

--excerpt from True Love Weds: When the Waiting is Over (p. 106-107)

**Soon, this portion of the book will also be read in Malaysia!!! I received a request for 30 copies of my book from a group in Malaysia. God is awesome!

Second Helping

2005-09-27T22:35:00.000+08:00

A few days ago I received word from my editor, Joy Solina, that the first batch of my books (3,000 copies) is almost finished! My publisher, CSM, is already working on a second printing!!! What's more is that I've been receiving emails and queries asking if the book is available in the US, in Thailand, in Holland, and in the UK. Then I got word from my Mom (who is currently in Maui, Hawaii for a conference) that a church in Maui wants to get copies of the book for their youth and that another lady from Egypt wants to bring a copy there, too! Another friend just emailed saying he wants 15 copies for the youth in their church in Melbourne, Australia! People from all over the world are actually asking how they can get a copy of True Love Weds! God is simply amazing!!! Indeed, the best comes to those who wait upon the Lord!

For those who are asking, you can directly send your orders to my publisher:
Church Strengthening Ministry
CSM Building, Pascor Drive
Sto Nino, Paranaque City
Tel. (632)512-1502 to 05
Fax (632)512-1499
Email: tlw@i-manila.com.ph
www.csm-publishing.net

Send me word if any of you has gotten a piece of the second helping of True Love Weds.

Going International

2005-08-19T23:43:00.000+08:00

Lately, I have made friends with people from other countries, thanks to the nature of my work here in Davao City. Many of them are intrigued about my husband (an Indian who looks like a Filipino-Chinese) and fascinated by our love story. And since I get a barrage of questions I direct them to my book, True Love Weds. So, my book has found its way into the hands of a Dutch couple, a Swiss with a Filipina girlfriend, a British lady doctor, a young English theology student, a South African psychology teacher, and a young Irish economist-to-be. Some have even asked me why I am not publishing the book in their country! This gives me reasons to smile and dream. Perhaps someday, True Love Weds would really go international.

Treasures from Texting

2005-07-10T23:31:00.000+08:00

I received another heart-warmer through SMS. Here it is (pardon the text language):

eow ate grace! i'm michelle...nmeet q pu kau s NYMC last december nd s TLW s isang hyskul! hmmm...juz wnt 2 tel u how blessed i am kc pu nbasa Q ung tru luv weds! ur buk s very good nd xempre pu ung life testimony nio ni kuya Mang s tlagang nkkblez! Ang dami q pu n22nan! pRomiz! God blez pu s nyo dlwa! thankz 4 sharing ur life..pra mging lesson s young pipz like me...tnx pu! God blez!

Joys of Joyce

2005-06-29T20:31:00.000+08:00

The good thing about being away from the computer is that there's more excitement than usual when you finally turn it on and check emails. I got this one which is truly heart warming. Thanks to Joyce Mora who gave me permission to post her joys (shared through email) here.

hi tlw,
my morale and confidence zoomed up when i read "true love weds". just to give you a little background. i broke up w/ my boyfriend almost 3 months ago. i'm in my early 30's now. born catholic. i find your book very enlightening & inspiring as well. i can very much relate to grace. Her story made me realize that nothing is really impossible with God. thanks to tlw, i don't have to remain clueless about God's plan for me. I believe in the importance of waiting for the marriage before having sex and the value of knowing God's will. thank God i was able to hold on to my values to this day. i want to remain pure for my husband on our honeymoon. this book really gives me a lot of reasons to smile, because after reading it from cover to cover, feel renewed, motivated, and confident about my self-worth. it helped me become more in touch w/ my inner self... For I am convinced that TRUE LOVE waits.

I'm confident that one day, God will give me the right man sooner than i expect.i believe that everything happens for a reason and everything will work out together to ultimately fulfill God's plans in our lives. when i accidentally got this copy from powerbooks, i felt as though God coached me on what to do when i was feeling lonely and sad at that time.it has given me a lot of ideas about how to know if the man was the one for me.

thanks for praying for me in advance...

more power & God bless!

keep in touch,
joyce c",)

In Durian Land

2005-06-28T01:39:00.000+08:00

The reason for the long silence was because my husband, our little boy wonder and I moved down to Durian Land. What land? Well, it's that place in the southern Philippines were birds fly freely (the Philippine Eagle's home), where food smells like hell but tastes like heaven (durian), where beautiful and rare flora grow (waling-waling), where there's refreshing coastlines and resorts (Pearl Farm and Samal Island to say the least), and a breathtaking mountain peak (Mt. Apo, the highest in the country). Yes, we moved to Davao City almost a month ago and we're making a nice little home here. So, that means True Love Weds has also landed in Durian Land!!! (I've checked and it's already at the National Bookstore in SM City Davao.)

Out of the Loop

2005-05-13T13:10:00.000+08:00

I may be temporarily out of the loop in the next two to three weeks. A major change is coming my family's way. I'll tell more when I get back. In the meantime, get a copy of True Love Weds and keep the feedback coming.

Pinoy 'To!

2005-04-25T17:54:00.000+08:00

Yesterday, we attended a church in Quezon City. My husband, Mang, preached in the worship service. I was so content with my role as a supportive wife and a loving mother (who stayed in the nursery with Lian Ed the whole time) that day. As I went out of the church to get something to drink in the nearby canteen, a young lady ran after me and said, "Excuse me, I read your book." I almost asked, "What book?" as I had forgotten that I am an author because I was engrossed with my domesticated role that day. Before I could respond, the pretty young lass just went on to say how much she liked it. "I have read I Kissed Dating Goodbye by Joshua Harris and I liked it. But I am sooo happy that finally I have read something set here in the Philippines! There's hardly anything written about us and something that I can really relate to! Finally, there's one! Thank you!" I was dumbfounded. I guess it's one of my proud-to-be-pinoy moments. Yes, that's just what my book True Love Weds is--proudly, Philippine-made! Praise God!

True Love Waits

2005-04-20T10:14:00.000+08:00

This is the first time in 3 years that I will handle a True Love Waits Seminar. I've been active in the movement since I co-wrote the curriculum with my TLW buddies Aleks Tan, Blas Tiangco and Rhea Paredes in 1998. We've been to Cebu, Davao, Cagayan de Oro and here and there in Metro Manila training youth leaders and workers. But I had to take a leave when after true love waits...true love weds. In 2002, I asked to be out of the TLW scene so I could concentrate on my wedding preparations. And now, after my monumental ethnic wedding cum costume party, my romantic honeymoon in a paradise island and giving birth to a wonderful baby boy, I am back to the ins and outs of the TLW movement. Exciting!

Do whisper a prayer for the TLW Seminar I'll have with Micah and Misha's kids from Payatas on April 23 and the youth leaders of the Christian Bible Church in Marilao on April 30.

Lian Ed

2005-04-14T14:10:00.000+08:00

I should've posted this on April 5...

Our Son

A year ago he came
We welcomed him
With songs and a name.
In our hearts was a prayer
As we held him
We praised his Creator.

Our cherished treasure
Our priceless inheritance
In him we find pleasure.
'Lian Ed' means 'great protector'
Two names taken from days of old
Poor and needy may in him find a defender.

To the Lord Almighty
We, His stewards give
Our son to care and keep.
May you do, dear Lord
That which You please
And may he live according to Your Word.

Copyright 2005 Grace Gaston-Dousel

Lian Ed, a few hours old.

Our first family picture.

Baby magazines said babies don't smile until the 2nd month. But our Lian Ed smiled at 5 days old!

My little Mr. Pogi!

Tips for Bloggers

2005-04-13T11:08:00.000+08:00

I came across an article entitled “Blog Responsibly” by Alexander M. Osias in the April 25, 2005 issue of Newsbreak Magazine (check out the news and magazine stands for it if you want to read the whole article). I just thought of sharing parts of it here so as to help all you bloggers and would-be-bloggers as you electronically scribble your musings.

So where’s the harm in writing down your view of the world and recording your experiences for posterity?

Blog authors may find themselves the targets of lawsuits if the individuals and corporations tackled in these short journal entries construe some of the content as defamatory. In addition, blog authors writing about the shortcomings of companies they work for may be fired from their jobs.

Authors sometimes forget that while they may write for a specific target audience (friends and co-workers), their sites are accessible to countless people beyond their immediate social circles.

So here’s some advice for bloggers: (I just picked out the key sentences. Get the explanations from the complete article. Find a Newsbreak Magazine.)

1. Write your blog for your target audience; edit your blog for strangers.
2. Separate objective facts from subjective speculation.
3. Be ready to correct or clarify your entries.
4. Disclose any personal biases.
5. If you have any suspicions concerning the validity of an information source, or believe that they may have cause for prejudice against another party, qualify any information imparted in your blog.

Hope we’d all be responsible bloggers.

The Second Year

2005-04-11T13:50:00.000+08:00

April 11, 2005

My Ngaihnou* Mang,

It's been two years.

Married life isn't always easy but it sure is a wonderful journey. We have experienced the ups and downs, the joys and pains, the surprises and mundaneness of being together. We have learned and unlearned lessons that would strengthen our bond. Two things I learned this year--always choose to love and always extend grace and forgiveness. Two things I unlearned this year--insisting on my rights and thinking that everything has to be fair all the time.

Yesterday, as we sat in the garden while the sun set and the gentle breeze blew, I felt like a blushing bride once again. As we held hands and renewed our vows I felt love bloomed anew. Right at that moment, as if by divine orchestration, the church bells rang to seal our renewed commitment to love and to hold each other for better or for worse, for richer or for poorer, for bigger or for slimmer, in sickness and in health till death do us part.

Thank you for your undying, unconditional, selfless love. I love you.

Devoted to you,
Grace

*Beloved in Paite (Mang's language)

Mang Dousel & Grace Gaston
Two lives, two cultures
One love, one Lord
April 10,2003

Which U2 Song am I?

2005-04-04T17:03:00.000+08:00

I am a U2 fan! And I was amazed to find out that ONE of my favorite U2 songs (the other one is "Grace") aptly describes me!

You are "One." Achingly beautiful and
heartbreaking, you tend to go for the
melancholy side of life. There's nothing wrong
with a good wallow, but try and see the happier
side - it's there if you really look for it.

Which U2 Song Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

The Launch

2005-03-30T16:29:00.000+08:00

I have been asked to post some photos of the book launch held over a month ago. I have lots of them thanks to digicams and good friends. I'll post some now and post another batch later...

My boys (my husband Mang and our son Lian Ed) joined me on stage for the unveiling.

Unveiled!!!

"Saang chapter kaya tayo kasali?" my friends searched through the pages while in queue during the book signing.

I've never written my name so many times before!

My college friends in full force!

My friend Ate Richelle (standing) did a great job co-hosting the event with Dylan Thomas. Lani (bending) is the director of the True Love Waits Musicale. She's also a friend from my College Sunday School days.

A bouquet of red roses from my beloved hubby and a bouquet of white roses from our Itay, Dr. Jose Andres Sotto.

In Her Brother's Bedroom

2005-03-22T15:58:00.000+08:00

The following is an email I got from a friend since college:

True Love Weds finds its way to my brother's bedroom.

I was surprised to see Grace's book sandwiched between my brother's bedsheets and pillow. He's 15, the youngest of four and a voracious reader. Despite that, I didn't expect him to take interest in the book (which was originally in my bedroom).

How did I react? Well, I didn't rejoice nor did I praise and thank God for it. But yes, I would want him to finish the book. I do not expect him to embrace it but at the minimum knowing that the book caught his attention is an achievement in itself.

The book has to compete with FHM, Archie Comics and the complete works of Shakespeare (yes, at 13, he read Romeo and Juliet and Merchant of Venice in the original and note it was NOT even required in his class)--with your prayers, Grace, he'll probably finish it somehow...

I'm praying...

They Said...

2005-03-17T14:38:00.000+08:00

...with my mouth I will make Your faithfulness known through all generations. I will declare that your love stands firm forever, that yu established your faithfulness... (Psalm 89:1b-2)

This was my Bible reading the day that my book True Love Weds: When the Waiting is Over was launched. Indeed, I can only make the Lord's faithfulness known and declare that His love stands firm forever. God is amazing! It is echoed by these people:

Roda, lawyer (SMS): I read your book in one sitting. Easy reading & it wasn't preachy or anything. Indeed a heart warming faith story as you call it :-)...I'm going to share it with my brothers. :-)

Moira, pre-school teacher (SMS): I believe many will be helped by your book, please keep doing what you do :-) I'd love to support TLW (True Love Waits movement). Maybe you can help me start it in our church? Wish your book came out much sooner.

Ramil, salesman (SMS at 2am!): Hi Mang & Grace. Just finished reading your book, your journey of faith & love story...Be it known that it's a delight to know both of you personally. Thanks.

Mary Jane, businesswoman (SMS): I learned much from your book, considering I'm already 37 now. I pray this would be a bestseller.

Kimy, college student (SMS): I finished reading the book...I love it sobra :-) Thank you for being transparent with your experiences. I was truly blessed :-)

Anne, seminary professor (SMS): I am reading your book. I bought an extra for my office library...and another one to donate to...a library in Zamboanga City...Your quite the poet it seems :-) Keep writing for Jesus. And hope we team up someday, too. :-) Nakaka-bless talaga. Will give to my young friends.

Ayeth, NGO worker (SMS): Thanks so much for the book...I have browsed some part of it & its nice. Congratulations for coming up with this kind of book.

Rods, youth worker (SMS): Grace, I read some parts of your book. Ok siya :-)

Marie, church worker (SMS): Truly God will use your book...I introduced it to our young people.

Joey, video specialist (SMS): Got two books...Pwede mag-suggest? Push for a book-signing sa Powerbooks or National.

Cheloy (Tag): I will definitely ask my friend to buy a copy of your book and send it here in Indonesia. Ill be praying for you.

Joydee, NGO worker (SMS): Thanks for the book. I am blessed.

Jonathan, architect (SMS): Tol! Iba pala ang feeling pag magbasa ng libro at kilala mo yung author. My friend, right now I am really affected by your book.

Amy, administration & finance manager: I went to National SM North. Your book is already out of stock!

Boris, VP for Marketing, CSM (SMS): Went to Power Books Megamall. Halos ubos na sya. Mabenta daw sabi ng staff.

What else can I say but PRAISE GOD for His faithfulness!!!

What a BLAST!

2005-03-14T16:32:00.000+08:00

One thing that really made the launching of my book True Love Weds: When the Waiting is Over truly spectacular (naks!) is the MTV made by my good friends at BLAST DV. From the very start, I had no doubt at all that these creative geniuses could really deliver broadcast quality entertainment with a message no matter how pressed they were for time. They've been my friends for ages...okay, since college (but it sure feels like we've known each other forever)...and they've never failed to deliver the best when it comes to audio-visual presentations.

Special thanks to (in alphabetical order):

Dexter Andrada for conceptualizing and directing the whole thing (You made everyone's lives more toxic that week :-))

Joey Cortes for staying up all night on the eve of the launch to finish the video and still come to the actual event. Thanks, too, to your lovely new bride Xandra for letting you stay at the editing bay longer those days. I know how hard it is for a newlywed to work overtime. Thanks!

Arnie Manzano for staying up all night to put the final touches until 6 am on the day of the launch! You did a superb job! You made me look beautiful on screen!!

Misha Pallorina for being Dex's "dakilang alalay", for being everyone's encourager on the night of the shoot which lasted till 3 am, for setting up the booth and the equipment during the launch and for choosing to be with me on that day when you were supposed to be with Micah because it was his birthday :-) I'm so touched!

Third Angle and my sis, Didits Gaston, for being the subjects of this experiment. Thanks for creating the music which eventually became the "theme song" of True Love Weds.

And for those who are already curious about this video click on the link to your right-->

For your audio visual presentations, go to the experts:
BLAST DV
4153586
blast@netgazer.com.ph
2nd Floor Cortes Building
T. Morato cor Sct. Fernandez Sts.
Quezon City
(beside Chili's restaurant)

Ode to Joy

2005-03-09T11:23:00.000+08:00

Ode to Joy (My Editor)

Joy,
indeed you are
for you brought immeasurable joy
when you hewn
the words on the tablet of my heart
when you broke
my will to give up
when you pounded
the rock of my pride to powder
when you squeezed out
the juice that’s left in my brain
when you drained
my memory of the past
to pour into a cistern
a book.

Joy,
you are a true friend
one who hurts truthfully
and loves passionately
a friend in life
a fiend in writing
a friend nonetheless.

Joy,
that’s what you are
never lose it
there are more cisterns
to fill.

Copyright 2005 Grace Gaston-Dousel

Single and Exasperated

2005-03-08T08:20:00.000+08:00

In my restless moments as a single person, I seemed to hear the Lord whisper in my ears, “Be at peace. I know My plans for you and they are never meant to harm you.”

At times when I looked around and found everyone else except me paired up with someone, the Heavenly Father seemed to tell me, “Don’t be envious of what I have given to others. Instead, rejoice that I know what you need and that I will give it to you at the appropriate time.”

At times when sadness engulfed me and loneliness hit me hard, God would come and say, “My grace is sufficient for you.”

And when with a faint heart I would cry out to God for feeling so incomplete, He would say, “My child, Jesus has made you whole.”

Many times God’s ways were so elusive and difficult to accept. It was easier to sulk than to rejoice. It was easier to complain than to pray. It was easier to envy others than to trust God.
In exasperation, I once poured out my frustration to Jesus in a poem:

I Long For You
Why is it
That when I’m down and weak
I turn away from You?
In my greatest time of need,
I run away
Amidst my struggle
I could hear You saying
“Take my hand”
But I wouldn’t
I just wouldn’t.

Why don’t I long for You
O, Jesus
To meet my needs
To hold my hands?
Why do I search in the wrong places
For comfort and strength
When I can get it from Your embrace?
O, I long
To have a longing for You
O, teach me
To long for only You.

And at the end of my strength
When I have no more dreams
When I’ve given up hope
And have given in
To fear and despair
You would come and pick me up
You would hold me close to Your heart
And tell me “My child, I love you and I long for you.
Why don’t you long for Me, too?”

--An excerpt from my book, True Love Weds: When the Waiting is Over

Wings (My Husband's Poem)

2005-03-07T13:40:00.000+08:00

Let these our hearts be given a chance to gaze about
...perhaps there might be a better half of wing to match
so that high above we soar
as high above we soar
as high as any wings can take
and even higher where the right pair of wings'd take...
if per chance Destiny pairs us
together our wings will take the two become one
together we flap in unison
then we soar beyond wings can take
to horizons far beyond
under the shadow of His wings
till death do us part...

Mang, my husband, wrote this poem with me in his mind at a time when we weren't even romantically involved. Apparently, without the other knowing it, Mang and I had been praying and asking God if He was leading us to each other. There's an interesting story behind this poem. Read about it in my book, True Love Weds: When the Waiting is Over, available at any Power Books, National Bookstore and Philippine Christian Bookstore branches.

What if I'm pregnant?

2005-03-04T14:40:00.000+08:00

I nearly threw up in the car. We were on our way to Quezon City from my parents' home in Bulacan. I was nauseous and dizzy. My mind started spinning. Well, there could have been a host of reasons for that. It was early morning and we haven't had breakfast. I have a history of hypoglycemia so maybe my sugar level dropped. I have not had enough sleep lately. I'm probably experiencing fatigue. Or maybe my blood pressure is low. Or...maybe...I'm pregnant!

WHAT IF I'M PREGNANT...again???

Yes, we've been doing it for almost two years now. No regrets. We already have a son. And if I'm pregnant again...then I'll have to face up to the challenge of becoming a mother the second time and he'll have to own the responsibility of becoming a father again, too.

What if I'm pregnant? Then it'll be a reason to rejoice. It's wonderful to bear my husband's child. We have made a commitment that all our children (we dream of having three) will be born within the bounds of marriage. That way, they will be born out of a God-ordained union, in a loving family and within a secured environment.

Am I pregnant? I have yet to take the test. There's nothing to fear or worry.

Women Empowered!

2005-03-03T10:09:00.000+08:00

It's Women's Month!!!

Let's Celebrate Women Power!!!

I'll be reading one of my articles featured in

Women on the Journey: Defining Moments

at Powerbooks Megamall on March 5, 2005, 4pm for

Empowered by Grace

SEE YOU THERE!!!

Full Cup

2005-03-02T10:09:00.000+08:00

Join me at Full Cup Cafe on Friday (March 4, 2005) at 7pm.
Let's learn something about Jesus and a woman in His life.
Full Cup Cafe is at 690 Real St., Intramuros, Manila.
Kitakits!

Where You Can Find True Love...

2005-03-01T10:47:00.000+08:00

For those who have been wondering where they can find

True Love

WEDS

When the Waiting is Over

You can check out

Powerbooks

National Bookstore

Philippine Chrisitian Bookstore Branches

GCF Ortigas Resource Center

(If copies are still unavailable inquire at the counter to keep them on their toes!)

You may also order directly from my publisher,

Church Strengthening Ministry

CSM Bldg., Pascor Drive, Sto Nino, Paranaque City

Tel Nos. (632) 512-1502 to 05; Fax 512-1499

Email: tlw@i-manila.com.ph

When you find a copy, BUY IT, READ IT & TELL ME what you think about it!

Catch Me if You Can

2005-02-28T09:48:00.000+08:00

Did you catch me?

I had been practically all over the place recently. Hope some of you "caught" me. I want to commend the Faith Christian Fellowship singles and youth for coming up with a wonderful post-valentine event, Faces of Love, on Feb. 25. FCF is in Cainta. Mang, my husband, and I had a great time with you. Thanks, Pastor Melvin for inviting us. The Greenhills Christian Fellowship-North Singles Fellowship also put up a splendid culminating valentine activity last Feb. 26. This is my home church located at Jocfer Building, Commonwealth Avenue in Diliman. Kudos to Clark who came up with a great set design. Thanks to Ate Angus who coordinated the event. Ramil, you were an excellent emcee. Kuya Ochie and Ate Me-an, your life and love story are a blessing. We appreciate all those who threw in questions. Then on Sunday, Feb. 27, Mang and I were at Jordan Escusa's church, The First Church of the Nazarene in Taytay, Rizal. We had a great time with their youth group as we conducted a True Love Waits Seminar. Had a very interesting interaction with my group talking about virginity! Oh by the way, you may wonder who Jordan is. Well, he is the DJ of NU 107's Against the Flow which is aired Sundays at 11pm. You might have guessed by now that I was Jordan's guest last night in his show. Ate Joy Solina, the True Love Waits Coordinator, was with me. It was so cool talking about sexual purity to NU's hard rock audience! NU listeners, you guys rock!!!

Catch me if you can...

Come and let's meet in these gatherings:
March 4--Full Cup Cafe in Real St., Intramuros, Manila, 7pm. I'll be talking about one female character in the Bible whom Jesus loved...watch out for it!
March 5--Powerbooks Megamall, 4pm for Empowered by Grace. This is a gathering for Women Empowered, sponsored by Powerbooks in celebration of Women's Month. I will be reading an article I wrote for "Women on the Journey: Defining Moments." Come and experience grace.
March 16--My story will be featured on The 700 Club. I believe it's aired by ABS CBN Channel 2.
March 24025--I'll be speaking at the Singles Retreat of the Kamuning Bible Christian Fellowship at Caliraya Re-Creation Center in Lumban, Laguna.

Don't just catch me...

PRAY FOR ME, TOO!!!

Before the Waiting was Over

2005-02-24T17:51:00.000+08:00

Both were a dream—writing a book and getting married to the right man. Both came true. But not until after I learned valuable lessons which I will carry with me for as long as I am walking this side of eternity.

This is not a book of do’s and don’ts. What you have in your hands is simply a sharing of my experiences as a sojourner through life and love. This is an intimate section in my life’s journal wherein I risked speaking my mind and baring my heart, sharing with you deep thoughts and intimate secrets.

I have read volumes on love, listened to a lot of sermons on obeying God’s will, and attended countless seminars on love, courtship, and marriage. I have come to conclude that God gives us pointers on how to please Him in our love life but it is our decision to bring it under the lordship of Christ. It is ultimately our choice to be joyful in our God-designed romance or to be miserable in our self-appointed entanglements.

This journey taught me that there are no hard and fast formulas. Each love story is unique. God can write our love story if we let Him. We may dream and He may grant it to the detail but He may also choose to give you something far beyond what you could ever ask or imagine. Indeed, mine is a love story written in heaven, lived and enjoyed on earth. Thus, I feel it is more appropriate to call what you are about to read in this book a “faith story.”

It is my prayer that my “faith story” will give the lonely heart a reason to smile, the downcast soul strength to look up, the hopeless wanderer a shade to rest in, and the lost lover a place to belong.

Grace Gaston-Dousel
June 2004

A Theology of Love

2005-02-24T05:36:00.000+08:00

"Love is not an easy teaching. Love is extensive. It hurts to love our enemies. Love stands unchanged beyond the boundary of friendship. It is God's truth and therefore independent from circumstances. It stands without condition. Love is supernatural; it is a value of eternal worth. Love is the willingness to give when others take; it is the assurance of extending our care when others hate; and it is the motivation to help when others abuse. Jesus' theology of love did not remain on his lips. He acted it out and displayed it on the cross. LOVE is an inward energy from God, a power that conquers evil and a value that pursues eternal victory."

These are the words of Herbert, a Filipino missionary for whom I have utmost respect. He has indeed won the right to speak these words for he, too, displayed God's love to the very people who seek to take his life.

I wonder how many of us have truly understood and lived the theology of LOVE. Or is it still a mere feeling that gives a tingling sensation or something that is simply represented by Valentine hearts?

It's Done!

2005-02-22T16:01:00.000+08:00

Finally, it's finished. The book has taken a hundred years to write. At least that's how it seemed to me sometimes. But the waiting for the finish is over.

The launch of my book "True Love Weds: When the Waiting is Over" was pure and simple joy. It reminded me a little of when Lian Ed came. When I gave birth to him in the summer of 2004, there were fears and worries, but at the end, it was pure and simple joy!

Now the waiting begins for something else. Will people read "True Love Weds: When the Waiting is Over"? Will it touch people's lives? How will readers react?

The waiting begins...