My Marriage Isn't Perfect

Once again I am faced with the fact that marriage and family life is precious. it is something God delights in. It is something we should care for, respect and protect.

My marriage isn't perfect. It's far from perfect. But it is a gift from God. When tough times hit, it's so easy for me to go back to God and complain. I complain about my current state, thinking that it was better and easier when I was single. i complain about the man God lovingly and graciously gave me as if I'm the most pitiful wife on earth. I guess all my ramblings are a result of my self-centeredness. Truth is, I want my husband to serve me. I expect him to meet my needs--every single one of them. I couldn't seem to accept it when Mang confessed that he can't always be strong for me. He can't meet all my needs. Worse was when he said that he also had needs; that he also looks to me to meet those needs though he doesn't expect me to be able to meet each one of them. I wasn't sure I wanted to hear it. I felt burdened and weighed down. I didn't want to serve. I wanted to be served, to be pampered. Afterall, I deserve it!

Lies. Of course these were all lies. My selfishness got the better of me. And so I started to become discontented. I looked at what others have and got envious. I complained more and praised less. I worried more and prayed less. I criticized my husband more and appreciated him less. No wonder happiness in each day eludes me.

(After writing this, I prayed for Mang. I asked God to forgive me for my selfishness. Then I wrote the "100 things I thank God for my husband list". It was a good exercise. I have a better perspective of things now...)