Single and Exasperated

In my restless moments as a single person, I seemed to hear the Lord whisper in my ears, “Be at peace. I know My plans for you and they are never meant to harm you.”

At times when I looked around and found everyone else except me paired up with someone, the Heavenly Father seemed to tell me, “Don’t be envious of what I have given to others. Instead, rejoice that I know what you need and that I will give it to you at the appropriate time.”

At times when sadness engulfed me and loneliness hit me hard, God would come and say, “My grace is sufficient for you.”

And when with a faint heart I would cry out to God for feeling so incomplete, He would say, “My child, Jesus has made you whole.”

Many times God’s ways were so elusive and difficult to accept. It was easier to sulk than to rejoice. It was easier to complain than to pray. It was easier to envy others than to trust God.
In exasperation, I once poured out my frustration to Jesus in a poem:

I Long For You
Why is it
That when I’m down and weak
I turn away from You?
In my greatest time of need,
I run away
Amidst my struggle
I could hear You saying
“Take my hand”
But I wouldn’t
I just wouldn’t.

Why don’t I long for You
O, Jesus
To meet my needs
To hold my hands?
Why do I search in the wrong places
For comfort and strength
When I can get it from Your embrace?
O, I long
To have a longing for You
O, teach me
To long for only You.

And at the end of my strength
When I have no more dreams
When I’ve given up hope
And have given in
To fear and despair
You would come and pick me up
You would hold me close to Your heart
And tell me “My child, I love you and I long for you.
Why don’t you long for Me, too?”

--An excerpt from my book, True Love Weds: When the Waiting is Over