Why I Wrote True Love Weds

An Invitation to Brave the Journey

(Or Why I Wrote True Love Weds)

By Grace Gaston-Dousel

My ear was red and aching. Nearly two hours of being on the phone in the middle of the night is not exactly my idea of a night cap. But this time, I had to patiently listen to a friend bare her heart. In between sniffs she shared how she felt so low, so bad, so destitute. She has finally realized she needed to shape up. But she didn’t know where to begin or where to draw the strength to make the first step.

It was so easy for me to judge her. She had committed the same mistake twice. In both cases, she was left with a baby to bring forth and raise all by herself. Her parents couldn’t care less because they see her as the black sheep with no redemption. Her siblings scorn her for bringing shame upon shame and trouble upon trouble into their otherwise perfect family. Previously earning well in a call center, she is now without a job due to absences. With a three year old daughter and a three month old baby boy, she found herself knocking at her parents’ house. While she was accommodated, it was not without painful words.

“I know I have to set things right for me and my children. I just had an argument with my boyfriend about my daughter. He obviously does not love her because she is my child from a previous relationship. I can’t blame him. But I also can’t live without him. I love him. I’d do anything to get him to come back.” I couldn’t bring myself to sympathize with her a hundred percent. I wanted to say, “Your stupidity is what got you into this mess. You always hook up with the wrong men.” Instead the words that came out were verses from Isaiah 33:6: He will be the stability in your times; a rich store of wisdom, knowledge and peace; the fear of the Lord is the key to this treasure. After a few more insights, I ended our long phone call with a prayer.

People ask me why I wrote True Love Weds. I must admit that at the beginning I simply wanted to share with my readers how True Love Waits (the movement and the curriculum that I co-wrote) helped me wait, find and wed my true love. Five years after True Love Weds was first launched, I found myself giving a different answer.

I wrote True Love Weds (with its new chapter and discussion guide) because I long for more young adults to experience the wonderful life that results from a love life submitted to the lordship of Christ. My heart breaks at the sight of single mothers like my friend. My arms ache for children born out of unwanted pregnancies and more so for nameless babies whose lives were snuffed by an abortionist’s needle. I am bothered by the growing number of men and women who walk around searching aimlessly for true love yet search for it in one sexual encounter after another. I am frightened at the thought that in the supposedly conservative Asian society, about four to five cases of HIV are being noted daily due to sexual promiscuity. I am shaken at the increasing tolerance of marriage-less unions and rampant divorce. I am alarmed at the thought that families are being broken every minute due to the absence of God’s presence.

True Love Weds is not just my story. It is a proof that there is still true love that weds, that marriage is not passé, that a happy family life is not utopia. It is a real take on what it means to pursue the path of purity and enjoy its prize. It is my challenge to anyone who wishes to find true love to wait and honor God in every step. It is my honest confession of how much work marriage takes and the wondrous joys it brings. It is an invitation to brave a difficult journey that leads to a magnificent destination.