Aloneness is NOT Loneliness

Aloneness does not necessarily mean loneliness. Being alone can in fact be a blessing. Anyone can choose to be blissful even when alone. Harold Sala says that "more than where we live, it is how we live that produces loneliness." I have a choice whether to live each day rejoicing, though alone, or to sulk. Mother Teresa says that the cure for loneliness, which she has called "the world's worst ill," is "love and involvement in the lives of other people." She believes that in reaching out to help a hurting person, "you find a cure for your personal demon of loneliness." Happiness in being alone is not so elusive if we understand that it does not come to those who eagerly seek it. It is a result of devotion to God and selfless service to others.

--from True Love Weds, pp.24-25

A Divine Appointment

It always warms my heart to receive feedbacks such as this. Jessica Rivera posted this comment on this blog last Friday, October 14. I thought that it's better to post it here than for it to just stay in the pop-up window. Read on and be encouraged...

Hi!I bought your book at NATIONAL BOOKSTORE, SUCAT last october 12, 2005. Actually ang purpose ng pagpunta ko sa NBS was to buy a pen. Di ko alam kung bakit ko nabili yun. I read some of its contents at mukhang interesting, so binili ko nga then binasa ko sa bahay. ANg ganda pala and very inspiring huh. Nakakakilig pa!!! hehehe! Nagpapasalamat ako kasi niloob ng Dios na mabasa ko ang TLWeds dahil maraming aral talaga ang matututuhan ang mga readers, lalo na sa mga teenagers like me. Natulungan ako ng Dios through your book na mabuksan pa lalo ang isip ko about LOVE. God Bless you Ms. Grace Gaston- Dousel!

Jessica Rivera

(translation: Hi! I bought your book at National Bookstore, Sucat last October 12, 2005. Actually my purpose for going to NBS was to buy a pen. I don't know why I bought it. I read some of its contents and it looked interesting, so I bough it and read it at home. It's beautiful and very inspiring. I am thankful because God willed for me to read TL Weds because readers, especially teenagers like me, will really learn a lot of things. God helped me through your book; for my mind to be opened about LOVE. God bless you Ms. Grace Gaston-Dousel!)

The Best Thing About Being Single

When I was single I discovered a lot of things about myself, about life, about love. Let me share the best discovery I've made:

Perhaps the best thing I discovered as a single was my purpose in life. Rick Warren says that we must turn to God's Word and not the world's wisdom to discover this purpose. I learned to do just that. I started to value myself deeply and the l ife I had been given. I also learned to appreciate what the Bible says about my life, "It's in Christ that we find o ut who we are and what we are living for. Long before we first heard of Christ and got our hopes up, he had his eye on us, had designs on us for glorious living, part of the overall purpose he is working out in everything and everyone." What excites me is that our lives are not isolated from each other. We do not live solely for ourselves. Each of our lives is a part of a bigger whole and aimed toward achieving a bigger purpose. We are all connected to each other, somehow, and if we all live out our purposes in life, then God is glorified. (from True Love Weds, p. 23)

Why are there porn sites around?

Recently, three people posted comments on this blog. While everyone out there is welcome to swing by my little corner in cyber space and leave an imprint, there are those whose marks are really not worth sharing to others. The last three comments (which I have deliberately deleted) are such. They say they LOVE my blog (although they didn't exactly say why) but posted links to porn sites which very well contradict the message of this blogspot.

I must admit that my initial reaction was that of irritation. However, as I pondered upon this I realized that porn sites exist because people seek one thing--TRUE LOVE. It's not sex per se that they long for. I think that deep within they are yearning for a meaningful relationship that would give them a sense of worth and dignity. Of course, sex with just about anyone (especially those you can find through the net) could not and would never give a person worth and dignity.

I believe that the book True Love Weds is for people like these three who mistake sex for love and physical pleasures for happiness. I hope they will find themselves a copy of the book and hopefully find TRUE LOVE in the process.

Blogs & Books

This article was published with permission from Media Associates International (http://www.littworld.org/), and first appeared in Trainer Network newsletter. If you're a writer, read the whole thing. I'm sure it'll be a big help to you!

Interview: Why Bother to Blog?
Besides serving as personal online journals for public consumption, blogs (web logs) are helping writers worldwide expand and deepen relationships with their audiences, and market books. Authors Grace Gaston Dousel of the Philippines (http://trueloveweds.blogspot.com/) and Mary DeMuth of France (www.relevantblog.blogspot.com) share their insights on blogging with Editor Dawn Herzog Jewell.

Q: How did you get started with your blog?

Grace: I never knew much or cared about blogs because I'm not into technology. But soon after my book launch, my officemate set up a blog for me. He and his daughter (my "blogging guru") taught me how to use it and how powerful a tool it could be, especially in reaching today's youth and young professionals--the target audience of my book.

Mary: No publisher asked me to do this. I figured it was what I could do from overseas to help the sales of my books. Mostly, I am just building an audience base. Since I live in France and can't do a lot of hands-on marketing [in the U.S.], I blog.

A good way to get started for free is http://www.blogger.com/, the server I use. Within five minutes it will be set up, and they operate in different languages. It's very user friendly. I used a blogger template for my design and then altered it completely, copying over the html and adding different colors, pictures, etc. I knew nothing about how to do this; I learned a lot by experimentation.

Q: How do you encourage people to visit your blog?

Grace: At first, since nobody knew about it, I had to visit other blogs and "tag" them or leave a message on their "tagboard" or that space for short notes. I invited them to visit my blog.

I advertise my blog especially when I speak to youth groups or talk to anyone about my book. I also instruct my publisher and editor to mention the blog when they are promoting my book, or whenever they receive queries or feedback about it.

Mary: The key is to announce your blog to your email list and link to as many blogs as you can, requesting other blogs link to you. That helps with traffic. Occasionally, I'll send out a mass email to folks, letting them know about a particular entry. I also cross reference my blog and website in my monthly RelevantProse newsletter. In addition, I have links to my blog and website on my email signature line.

Q: What kind of material do you post on your blog?

Grace: I began by posting teasers about my book. (Other authors upload the first chapter of their book as a teaser.) I posted excerpts from the foreword, the introduction, and some poetry and other catchy portions of the book. I try to post entries every week.

Later I expanded to events--speaking engagements, the book launch--personal entries; including reflections on my wedding anniversary, a letter to my husband, a poem for my son's first birthday; and some family photos. Since my book is on love, relationships, marriage and sex, these postings still fit the blog theme.

Mary: I announce my books when they are released. I show my readers any new covers before they are released. I link to reviews once in a while. I spend about three hours a week on my blog, about half an hour a day. I don't do tons of maintenance, but I write and respond to comments.

Q: What kind of response have you received?

Grace: People abroad (friends, family and anyone with Internet access) learn about the book. They get interested and start inquiring how to obtain a copy. I've received feedback that copies have reached countries including India, Indonesia, the U.S. and Canada.

Several readers have logged onto my blog and left their feedback. I have also created an email account that's solely for book readers and is advertised on my blog. There I receive all sorts of emails, from thank yous to those seeking advice.

I've made friends through both the blog and the email. Some of my readers have shared deep issues and have asked me to pray for them. They feel more comfortable with this kind of communication because it's more impersonal and distant. This has opened a whole new ministry for me. I thank God for it.

Mary: I get about 5,000 hits a month. It's hard to put a finger on whether it's working or not, but I seem to get a lot of good feedback. I definitely feel it has deepened my relationship to readers.

The Big Deal About Keeping One's Virginity

What is the big deal about staying pure anyway? Why keep one's virginity? As early as high school, I decided to saty a virgin until my wedding night. Some of my friends called me morally uptight. I have been put down at times for my conviction and for encouraging others to follow suit. One time, I ate lunch with some old friends as a kind of reunion. One of them said that unlike me, she believes that virginity is not the only gift she can give to her groom on their wedding night. she said that she has so much more to give. She said that she is happy giving her boyfriend what she can give now, including her body, to show him her love. The others in the group nodded in affirmation.

I felt sad because she and our other friends missed the point. Though there are other things a woman can give her husband, her virginity still tops the list. And this is a gift that she gives not only to her husband on the wedding night but more so to the Lord. We are to "offer our bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God" (Romans 12:1b). We are told to honor marriage and keep the marraige bed pure for God will judge the sexually immoral (Hebrews 13:4). This may seem too strict and too harsh for many, but it is God's standard. God did not prescribe "how to's" in life to limit us but to enable us to live life to the full. For instance, the Bible's strong admonition against the inappropriate use of sex outside of marriage is really intended for our own protection and pleasure. Having more than one sexual partner increases the risks of acquiring sexually transmitted diseases. Unwanted pregnancies that result from premarital sex often bring two unprepared individuals into the difficult predicament of raising a child. Over the years, it has been observed that individuals who enter parenthood without spiritual, emotional, and psychological readiness end up raising troubled children who grow up to become troubled adults.

--excerpt from True Love Weds: When the Waiting is Over (p. 106-107)

**Soon, this portion of the book will also be read in Malaysia!!! I received a request for 30 copies of my book from a group in Malaysia. God is awesome!